


What if she never left

by TessaAlina



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Halloo, This is the first fanfic I’ve written, also hot, because there is no darkling without paperwork, cause of course, darkles sparkles, he is also doing paperwork, of course it would be darklina, probably going to up the rating in a few chapters, soft Aleks, some dark!alina perhaps, tried to make them as similar to their actual personalities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaAlina/pseuds/TessaAlina
Summary: What would happen if Alina had never left the Darkling when Baghra told her of his plans after the Winter Fete? Will she fall under his spell again? Or will she save her brilliant boy’s soul?
Relationships: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	What if she never left

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Darklina story that i have written. I tried to keep as much as i could to the actual personalities of the characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What would have happened if Alina had never left the Darkling when Baghra told her of his plans after the Winter Fete? Will she fall under his spell again? Or will she save her brilliant boy’s soul?

I sat on my bed in the room the darkling had given me. I couldn’t stop thinking about my encounter with Baghra. I believed the old woman, but I wanted to see for myself. I wanted to know if he would tell me the truth. 

So I waited for him. Silently, in the dark, I waited for the moment his voice would carry through my door, if it even did. I don’t know if he’ll show. 

When Baghra told me what she knew I couldn’t believe her, I didn’t want to. Then when I came to terms with the news, I had been ready to leave Os Alta and everything behind. 

Something held me back though. I don’t know if it was fear towards the person that was powerful enough to create an endless sea of darkness or the fact that I thought I could save that person. In the end I stayed.

Baghra had yelled at me. Called me foolish. I didn’t know why but I couldn’t leave, not yet. My gut was telling me to stay, so I followed it. 

Eventually my thoughts strayed to the other events that occurred in the past evening. I had been sure I would never see Mal again, but there he’d been. If the Morozova’s herd could be found by anyone it would be my best friend. 

_ He did found it _ , I remind myself.  _He found it for you_. _He thought you were being treated badly so he found the herd, so he could come and see you._

I push the voice from my head, that voice that is trying to make me feel guilty. I was as worried about him as he had been, maybe even more. 

When I had left, he had been still injured. Besides it was not my fault that I was actually taken care of, for the first time in my life. 

It was a few minutes later that I heard his voice calling my name, ”Alina.” 

Just that, nothing more, nothing less. His voice sounded through the silent, empty room, reaching my ears. 

I slowly rose from my bed, and made my way over to the door, unlocking it softly and opening it. 

He stood there with a hesitant smile, just asmall lift of the sides of his mouth, a smile barely even there, but it was. How had I been such a  fool . 

He went to move as though towards her, when he noticed her face in the dim light of the few candles in the room and stopped abruptly. 

“What happened?” He asks curiously and then continued, “were you crying?” 

I must still have the dried tear marks on my face, but I don’t care. For a moment I think I heard him sound truly concerned, and then cursed myself for falling into his well-built trap of lies and manipulations. 

I step back leaving him enough space to cross in my door and into my room. He does, not waiting for me to allow him inside. It’s okay, we are not using formalities anyway, not tonight. 

Once he is inside, he takes one of the chairs that sits in my table for himself, sitting on it. Even after the long night he stills looks as much the leader of the grisha as it gets, as though he owns every room he walks into. In a way he does, maybe not yet, not ever if I have my way, but in his mind he probably is as much the  Tsar as the actual one. 

I stay quiet, starring at him. I will not be the one to break the silence. He is looking back at me with a weird look I can not decipher, and it is gone before I can understand what it meant. 

After a few minutes he speaks. “What happened?” He asks me again, though this time I can tell he is getting impatient. 

“When were you planning to tell me about your plans to use the Fold?” For a moment he looks shocked, and I continue, “ or were you going to give me the stag and then take me to the Fold and completely deceive me?” 

I can hear my own voice bordering on anger now. The Darkling’s face is back to a neutral emotion, and I don’t know what he is thinking. It is a few more moments before he speaks again. 

“So Baghra told you?” He asks. 

“Yes. She told me to leave and run,” I tell the Darkling. 

“Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you leave? You probably had plenty of time before I came to you and realized you were gone so why are you still here, Alina?” He asks me. 

I try to think about it. Why didn’t I leave? It is such a complicated answer. 

“I don’t know,” I quietly speak, suddenly confused. He gets up from his chair and makes his way over to me. He puts his hands on my cheeks, softly cradling my face. 

“You didn’t leave because you didn’t want to. You didn’t leave me because you know I am right about this,” I start shaking my head but he doesn’t let me speak yet, “you know this is the only way to stop the Shu and the Fjerdans from hunting down our Grisha,” My heart thuds is my rib cage. He didn’t say his Grisha but ours. I don’t know what to make of him. 

“You are going to kill innocent lives, I can’t let you do that, please!” I am begging, I know I am, but if I just let him kill all those people, what kind of person does that make me. His hands are still on my cheeks, though now one hand has moved and it’s cradling the back of my neck, through my hair. His face is closer to mine than before. 

“You don’t have a choice,” he says quietly and before I can register what he says, he kisses me. It is not like the kisses we shared in the Queen’s room, hiding in the darkness. Those were filled with passion and anger and the shrill of the news we had gotten about the stag, but this was different. 

He was kissing with a softness I have never seen him use. He is kissing me as though he is scared if he moves too much or does something abrupt, I will run. His lips are barely brushing mine but I can still feel his emotions through our connection. I can feel his desperation through the kiss, and it shocks me. I pull back a little and look at him. 

He is not ready to talk, though and I know it. His lips brush my cheek, and then slowly they slide down my jaw and then my neck. I shiver, his lips are barely touching my skin, but they still affect me just as much as earlier. And then he finds my pulse and he leaves a soft kiss there. 

His kisses contain a softness I never knew he could possess. Here he is, The Black Heretic, the person who created The Fold,in my room holding me as though he is holding a baby, fragile and weak. 

He continues to kiss my neck, peppering kisses in every part of free skin he can find. And when he finds an obstacle he pushes it out the way. One of his hands, the one that had been holding my cheek still, starts moving, slowly going down my hand and then around me finding my lower back and pushing me towards him. 

I put my hands on his shoulders, and I have a choice, push him away from me or keep going. One of my hands slides to his neck and I can’t speak coherently, not when he is touching me like this, so I squeeze the parts where I am holding him and he stops, leaving his lips as far away from the skin of my neck so that I can still feel his breath there, slightly irregular. 

“I am not going to touch you, if you do not wish it,” he tells me, his head still bend down as though he is speaking to my neck. I feel the vibrations of his words on my skin, on my whole body, I feel his hands, the one still strangled in between my hair and the other pushing my lower back to his body, and I have to wait a few minutes before I can speak. 

“Promise me,” I tell him, “promise me, you will search for another way, one where no one innocent dies,” I know he will not but I have to hope. 

“No one is innocent in war, but I promise to try and look for another solution,” he is looking at me now, “Believe when I tell you, Alina, I will find no other way. I have been looking for many years now, if there was something don’t you think I would have found it? You are my only hope, Ravka’s only hope,” he finishes. 

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended to keep this it a one-shot but I got a lot of feedback and a lot of people wanted me to continue it. I also have works posted on wattpad, if anyone is interested.


End file.
